I was blind sided by Grandson Joey’s fear of his Grandfather. In that moment of shock I knew something had to be done … but what? 

The first magic “Ah Ha” moment happened at bedtime when Joey, dressed in his Winnie the Pooh PJs,  padded downstairs to say goodnight. Dave was still awake in our bedroom, despite being tucked in by Caregiver #2, known affectionately as “Special K.” Of course I was Caregiver #1 directing Kevin in the process of palliative care.

In an insightful flash, the characters on Joey’s PJ’s reminded me of an incident several weeks earlier. It happened while baby-sitting for a few days.  As usual, I brought several presents, one of which was a ‘Disney-fied’ “Winnie The Pooh” storybook. Joey, sitting on my lap as I read the book,  expressed sadness upon seeing Eeyore pictured with a tear running down his unhappy face. Joey responded saying …

JOEY: “Donkey cying.”

ME: “You’re right Joey. Eeyore is crying because he lost his tail. Maybe you can make him feel better by kissing his booboo.”

Joey proceeded to do just that, and then said … 

JOEY: “Betta.” 

But when I turned the page revealing another animal, Joey insisted we go back to check on Eeyore. Once again he became upset and kissed the donkey’s booboo. This sequence was repeated, page by page, as each new character was introduced. Joey’s two year old mind could not grasp why his kisses did not change Eeyore’s expression and he became distressed. I put the book down and moved on to a different activity.

So, when Joey came downstairs to say goodnight, that sudden recollection prompted me to say …

ME: “Remember how Eeyore was sad because he lost his tail? Well, Grandpa Dave is sad because he lost his walking and talking. But, if you throw Grandpa Dave a kiss, he will feel better on the inside even though his face still looks the same on the outside.”

With a big smile Joey stood at Dave’s bedroom door, threw him a kiss and, then with great satisfaction, said …

JOEY:  “Betta.”

The family left the next day, and, as I tend to be compulsive, house cleaning began immediately. While putting away toys, changing sheets, and doing laundry, the “Ah  Ha”moment of the day before, with its subsequent positive effect on Joey, kept gnawing at the edge of my subconscious until, like a slow but emerging Magic Eight Ball, a second “Ah Ha” moment emerged.

Stay tuned to learn more …